House Husbands Unite!

I think women in the current society are often called to “put on” masculinity in order to perform the role of their particular position in the work place. The prescribed behavior for the workplace is dictated for the most part by a male society, therefore, acceptable behavior in the work place is profiled by a masculine perspective.

I found it interesting how Almira Paul noted in the story that she did her job as well as any other man, yet she was a women. The fact that she pointed this out in her story indicates that she resisted the “man’s job” mindset. She did not have to be a man, literally, to do the same job well.

The flip side of the gender role is the modern day house husband. I am always perplexed by this title, as I am by the title of house wife. Both terms could be taken as being married to the house. How funny! But, that issue aside, men today do take on the role that is generally relegated to the female population such as house husband or stay at home dad. Do they really take on or “perform femininity?”. I don’t think so. The role itself is task enough for two football teams. The fact that men today often find themselves in this role has given it a new qualification. It is almost as if the fact that men now understand the tremendous task and importance of maintaining a household, it has validity.

Teach Your Children Well

The portrayal of Charlotte's parents produces a very positive image. They seemed to not only follow through on their role as parents but also, loved being parents. They treasured and loved their child. The fact that Charlotte loved them so deeply and did not want to disappoint them is quite evident. Her heart was torn between following her heart, however deceived it was, and conforming to what she knew to be a wise choice that would have brought honor to her parents.

Although most people do not send their young adolescents off to a boarding school for training any longer, The Temple’s were pretty much the same as parents of today. Most parents today want good things for their children and are willing to make the sacrifices in order to make that happen. Their role as overseers of Charlotte’s welfare is consistent with contemporary parents. Not to say that all parents are perfect, but they were doing the best that they knew how. I do not think you can ask for more than that.

Contemporary parents of today have a different set of challenges in raising their children. There is the internet, the onslaught of the cell phone, TV, movies, etc. to lure their beautiful, precious children away from all that is secure and safe. Where the Temples had the seducer, Montraville, the parents of today have a million more “Montravilian” hooks to destroy the lives of their children. So, the question is how can parents today save their daughters and sons from a “treacherous heart” that leads to betrayal and abuse?

I do not know that I have the final answer, but I do have a viewpoint as a parent. I have three sons that I have wished to protect as diligently as any daughter. There are many females in our culture that have no morals and do not have the best interest of my child at heart. The fate of their wellbeing is far from their concern. To be honest, I have tried to teach them well. I have tried to put down parameters of behavior that if followed, generally lead to safe passage into adulthood. My husband and I have tried to be consistent and not too strict, although the young men of my household might argue the strict part. One of the things that I do wish to point out is the personal responsibility. Teaching your child to be responsible for his or her own behavior is critical. In order to do this, you have to give them permission to make mistakes when the stakes are not so high. If anything could have potentially changed Charlotte’s decision making, it could be that she was in a situation where she was not capable of making a good decision based on a solid decision making process. Can that be taught? I think as parents, we must teach our children to make good decisions. They will not always be right, but as a parent, I don’t always make perfect decisions. Teaching your children that all decisions, good or bad, have consequences is critical.

If My Pen Could Talk

If the author of "Novel Reading: A Cause of Female Depravity" were writing today, his or her subject would probably be the internet. To say the least, I think we have definitely steered away from the seduction novels of the past. It would be appropriate to say that anything and everything goes especially on the internet. You can find content or text on any subject on the internet. You can read it in the privacy of your home and no one would ever know. Along with internet dating, it is possible to find articles on female seduction, male seduction and just about anything the mind can dream. But, does that make it wise to subject your mind to any and all things that are depraved? Have we as a society decided that no subject is taboo?

There are so many great resources on the internet. But, occasionally I stumble across "resources" that leave me blushing. I quickly steer away from the page. Would our author define that sort of experience as eliciting "female depravity"? The intense exposure to the culture at large leaves one open to all sorts of influences good and bad. I feel sure that the authors of the articles we have discussed this week had no clue of the internet, but oh my goodness, if their pens could talk now!

Blurry Filters

When I think back on the texts that we have been reading over the last three weeks I find that there is a definite shift from the patriarchal culture. The purpose and intent of most of these articles is completely different from the earlier ones we have read this semester. In a way, that has been a good change for me. The articles are quite humorous in some ways and definitely seem to be an odd filter for didactic literature. The language of these articles serve to make it laborious reading for the modern viewer. The general intent and the vocabulary blur the message. Each one required an effort on my part to understand the tone and message they were trying to relate.

The first few articles we read lean toward trying to warn or teach young women how to behave socially to prevent any misconceptions others might have of them. The one that particularly comes to mind is the article “Copy of a Letter from Miss---- to Mr.” In this particular article, the writer, Eliza, is lamenting her social indiscretions committed with this particular young man. She states “If female virtue consists, as I have sometimes been told, in female reputation, any virtue is indeed gone; but if, as my soberer reason teaches, virtue to be independent of human opinion, I feel myself its ardent votary, and my heart is pregnant with it nobles principles.” Not only is the language of this writer foreign to the modern reader, but it is so verbose. It seems so foreign to increase the number of words to express one’s thoughts when we are constantly in a media culture of the fewest lines possible. Our technology leans toward lean communication.

Finding relevance in these articles is not difficult once the extravagant language is bypassed. The particular article that spoke to me the most was “The Passenger ---No XL”. It addresses some issues that I think are still relevant in what we consider our modern culture. For example, the Doctor “remarked, that it had ever appeared to him that some correction was wanting in our laws, to curb the tyranny of a base husband, over an unoffending wife, whom he had voluntarily bound himself to protect and to cherish. In other cases, said he, men are bound to fulfill their obligations according to their tenor; if this same cruel husband had promised a sum of money, the laws would oblige him to pay it.” We addressed in class how this particular issue stands out as a new thought during this error. This doctor saw the need to address the crime of treating one’s wife with less responsibility than the law required for financial obligations. I think the fact that this is pointed out in this article drew my attention to the ludicrous double standards that society accepts in the arena of marriage. This particular article comes closer to the current modern reader’s concept of written communication and therefore, I thought it was easier to digest and understand.

FOR THE LOVE.......

Although many of the texts we read in class this week point to the scoundrel rake, I also felt like I was reading someone’s love letter. This type of print might have been the result of a gravitational pull away from patriarchal structure of arranged marriages, but it also reflects romantic love in a way that reaches the heart of the reader. No longer drowning in facts and figures, we get to hear their thoughts. The loss of chastity disguises the fact that someone’s heart has been broken. One such text is the “Story of Amelia”. In the title on the article, it is included that this article was extracted from one of her letters to a Friend.

The fact that this young woman wrote this letter as a warning to “such of my sex” could support that an arranged marriage would act as a safety net. Although she says she “had virtuous examples before me daily:” she still fell victim to “an enemy within my own bosom”. It would be easy to point to the arranged marriage as the savior of this young woman’s fate. But, then again it seems that her parents surrounded her with everything that would have equipped her to be successful at this stage in her life, but she fell victim to love. So, what does love have to do with it? Everything!

It seems to me that the male seducer in this letter knew exactly how to extract love from the heart of his unsuspecting victim. “His artful insinuations, like the arrow that flies in darkness, wounded my reason, ere I was conscious of their approach, and rendered me inattentive to the measures of my guilt.” The parents of this young girl were evidently absent or were also fooled by him. An arranged marriage would not have prevented this thief from stealing the heart of their daughter. Keeping her locked in a castle might have been more successful, but not very practical.

Come On King

I was amused at the descriptions of the rake in the articles we read in class. Actually, these men of questionable character can be found in many venues of modern day life. It seems that there are many different versions of the rake, so I decided to focus on the rake or flirt of our times. The loss of virtue of a young woman may not be his ultimate goal, but he definitely leaves a wake of young woman wondering why he moved so quickly past them.

In trying to describe a current day rake, the example that comes to mind is the guy that is attractive to everyone. He is funny, charismatic, handsome, and…uncommitted. He lures young hearts along with one look into his dreamy eyes, yet has no intention of developing any sort of relationship. His seemingly innocent allure is a trap to the young woman that glows under his attention. As soon as he sees that she is hooked, he finds another woman to challenge his insane desire for attention. He is the “bell of the ball”, or should I say King of the Come On. In “an Admonition to those who glory in Seducing the Affections of the Fair, and then Deserting them”, there is a line that describes this type of behavior. “But after his profession of regard, his services, and solicitations, have won the heart, and made him dear to her”.

The modern day flirt’s company is desired by everyone because he is such a nice guy. He gets invited to all the social events he can manage on his calendar. He has the “appearance of the true gentleman,” (On Seduction), but his motivation is anything but that of a gentleman.

About The Men.....

After a few lines of the first reading, “Copy of a Letter from Miss – to Mr. __”, I knew I was in for a ride on the do this and do not do that train. The preservation of a woman’s reputation was of utmost importance. In this woman’s case, it was her ability to live her life without judgment in the eyes of others, especially “human opinions”. I have a suspicion the human opinions in this case are those of a man. Whatever her “fatal indiscretion” was, she knew she did not have long to live because of it.

The theme of women and their susceptibility to falling is carried throughout the periodicals. The writer produces an instructional tone. He writes that “you have an opportunity to display the excellence of your character and to exert your talents most successfully in benefiting society” (An Address to the Ladies”. Furthermore, women are encouraged to be neither a coquette nor a prude. They are to find the perfect balance and to excuse the behavior of men when they flirt. Women are also warned that a “strong attachment to books in a lady, often deters a man from approaching her with the offer of his heart”. Women are also exhorted “to be lovely” and “for political purposes, to consider man as the superior in authority”.
Basically a woman’s education can extend as far as it does not offend a man. So, truly many of these writings are for men and “the pride of our sex”. Looking at these writings from that point of view indicates that they are really written for the promotion of what a man wants and has little to do with instructing a young woman to learn the socially acceptable rules that allow her to grow and mature as a person. As long as these young women stayed within the boundaries articulated by men, they would be safe and would be able to preserve their delicacy of mind. So, it is really about the men!